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How To Make Anyone Fall In Love With You

Last week I met up with a friend for beers at a local pub. When I showed up he stated emphatically “I just met the most amazing woman on the planet!” I could literally see the cartoon hearts popping from his eyes! (OK not literally, but you get the picture.)

Clearly, this new topic intrigued me, so I asked “Who is she? What does she do for a living?

He paused…. “Um, I’m honestly not sure”

“Ok, well, where is she from?”

… “uhhhh….I think she’s…ummm…”

“Did you even get her name?”

… “Yes. It was…….Kate. Her name was Kate.” (I’m still not convinced he didn’t just pull that name out of thin air)

At this point I had to stop and ask him the most important question I could think of: “How on earth are you in love with a girl who you know NOTHING about?!”

… “Well, I guess she just sat there and listened to me. She let me tell her all about me. We talked about my career, my goals, my family, my interests…”

And that’s when it hit me. She had discovered the KEY to being attractive: LISTENING.

We humans love to talk. Just about all of us would rather talk about ourselves than listen in any given one-on-one social situation. There's nothing wrong with that, it just is what it is. If you know me, you know this is entirely true! (I kissed the Blarney Stone. Don’t blame me for the gift of gab)

Since humans love to talk, if you can focus on listening, truly listening attentively to the person you're with, that person will adore you.

Even if you don't say a thing, if you continue to acknowledge that you're listening, using eye contact and body language and the occasional "Uh-huh" and "I know", that person will adore you.

The secret to getting people to adore you is to shut up and listen.

Here’s the important takeaway, though, you cannot just listen like it’s a parlor trick you learned from a silly LinkedIn post. You must truly be engaged.

Think about this from the perspective of a business. Let’s assume you own a pizza parlor. You are walking through downtown and you overhear a group of kids saying “let’s get pizza tonight!” – one kid says “I love supreme, could we get that?” another chimes in “sure, as long as it’s gluten-free.”

You happen to have a delicious new gluten-free crust, so you approach the group and say “Hi, I own the pizza parlor around the corner. I overheard your conversation about gluten-free supreme pizza, and I would love to share with you that we serve gluten-free pizza. We don’t currently have a supreme option, but since you asked for it why don’t I add it to the menu special for you!!”

How remarkable was that?! Heck, since we are now inventing a pizza with our new friends, let’s take it a step further and ask their opinion on a new name for this pizza.

Most businesses take the easy way out. We send 10,000 pizza coupons with a generic pepperoni pizza discount out to residents in our delivery radius. We hope for the best.

When we decide to listen, we begin creating relationships with people. Notice in the scenario above I do not say “here’s a special discount.” You don’t need a special discount when you do something remarkable. You are building loyalty and trust when you do something remarkable for an individual.

Here is a real-life example: Uno Chicago Grill actually LISTENED to a fan on Facebook one time, heard that it was her birthday, and planned a full surprise party for her! When she walked into their restaurant that evening there were balloons, signs, birthday cake, and more. When she asked, “How did you know it was my birthday?” they replied, “well, you’re our friend on Facebook!”

If you want to talk about a powerful impact on a customer, look no further than LISTENING. The things you can learn when you take a step back from talking are remarkable. When you decide to listen to your customers and adapt your brand around what they want instead of what you THINK they want, you will see amazing success!

So, how do you become the MOST ATTRACTIVE BRAND IN THE WORLD? ….Listen. Listen. Listen.

Jump on Twitter and find your customers. Take a look at your Facebook page. Scour Instagram. Browse through Pinterest pages, Tumblr accounts, blogs, and more. Ask your customers questions. They will LOVE you for it…I promise!

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